Christmas

Christmas was fun.  I left St. Louis on Monday, stayed at the same hotel in Salina, Kansas, and got home Tuesday afternoon.  Mia was so glad to see me and I was so glad to see her.  And she was very excited to see the cats when we got home.

I didn't have any tremors except for some very mild ones when I had a few cups of coffee.

Here's this year's group photo.  Ed had left to be with his family in Poplar Bluff and Margaret & Cody and the kids were at Cody's parents' house, so we are missing a few people, but it's still a good picture.  Although, while looking at the picture, it strikes me that my brother sure does resemble Marshall, doesn't he?

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!

December 22, 2012

I am on my way to St. Louis and after driving through a little bad weather in Kansas, I stopped in Salina and pulled up to a Holiday Inn Express to get a room.

The clerk asked me if I had ever been here before and I said, no, I didn't think so.  She put my name in her computer and not only was my name in there, but Marshall and I stayed in this hotel EXACTLY four years ago, on December 22, 2012, just 9 months after his diagnosis, on our way to Arkansas for Christmas.  Unbelievable.

Then the woman started remembering us and reminded me of some conversations she had with Marshall in the little dining area, about the prostate cancer, and the motorcycle he was getting, etc.

In a really weird way, that made me feel like Marshall is with me this Christmas.  Isn't that something?

I dropped Mia off at Camp BowWow early this morning and as she was jumping for joy to see her friends, I was in tears as I went back to the car.  But I'm sure glad she likes it there.

My knee was in good shape this morning so driving won't be any problems.

And no tremors today, but I plan to have some coffee on this trip so I expect there will be a few mild tremors over the next few days.  :)

What in the world is wrong with me?

I just fell down my stairs again.  And I don't know why.  Ever since the last time I fell, I've been going up and down the stairs one leg at a time.  I was alert, I knew the animals were downstairs and out of my way, I was very careful and all of a sudden I was on my butt and my knee was twisted again.  There is something wrong with me and I can't figure it out.

So the only thing I can think to do is start wearing shoes all the time.  Maybe being barefoot made me slip.  And today just for the heck of it I checked on the price of one of those automated chairs to go up and downstairs.  If I have to, I will get one of those.  And when spring rolls around maybe I should start thinking about moving to a ranch-style house. If I'm not in a nursing home by then............

So my right knee is messed up again (although I've had ice on it and it's feeling much better) and I'm getting ready to drive 900 miles to St. Louis on Thursday.  I guess if my leg won't handle the gas pedal and brake pedal, I just won't go.  I think I can figure that out tomorrow.

I am one constant sob story.  I have a very very dear friend in St. Louis -- went to grade school and high school with her -- and she is a therapist.  Marshall called her many times during his illness (sometimes in the wee hours of the night) and she always was able to calm him down.  So I called her tonight in tears and she was wonderful.  I really needed calming down.  I'm sure she never thought she would be the personal therapist for the Mullins family!!

I took Mia to Camp BowWow today for three hours to kind of get her prepared for dropping her off on Thursday.  She really likes it there.  Although I learned something today that I wasn't crazy about.  I asked the girl at the front desk how often the animals were checked on during the night and I would swear she told me no one is on the premises at night.  So from about 8PM until about 6AM the animals are in their "cabins" (kennels) and no one checks on them.  I will double check that again on Thursday but I'm not totally comfortable with that.  I'll have to accept it because it's too late to make any changes now but that just doesn't seem right.  I will report back to you when I get a definite answer.

And on a brighter note, no tremors today (but I sure miss my caffeine).  And I haven't had an Afib episode in months.  So I need to remember there are some positives.

That's it for today, or should I say that's ENOUGH for today.

Cold and Snowy

Mia and I got up at 6:30am, as usual, for her to go out. We got all ready and I opened the front door only to learn that last night's snow blew up against the storm door so that I couldn't open it. 

So we tried the garage and I could open the door but there was a foot of snow against the door and Mia couldn't even get in it without disappearing. So now what?  After 3 months of potty training I now have to undo it for a while and figure out how she can potty in the house. 

I can't shovel snow because of my pacemaker so today should be interesting. 

I managed to sweep off a small path off the patio (and my back didn't like that at all) and across the sidewalk and into the grass (see photo) and Mia walked out there but one of her paws froze to the sidewalk and she pulled it loose (ouch) and turned right around and went back to the house. The weather man says we got about 7 inches but Denver proper had a foot in a lot of areas. I know we need the moisture but I need to figure out how to handle Mia this winter.

Weather

Boy, I just took Mia out and when I opened the front door it almost blew off the hinges.  Bitter cold, windy and snowing.  Tomorrow should be interesting.  I hope it clears up before my long drive home for the holidays.

Mia is much better today, thank goodness.

I just spent the past two hours changing my passwords all over the place because of that big Yahoo hacking.  I hate this.  They tell you not to use the same password at several places but how in the world are you supposed to keep track of them?

No tremors today.  Haven't had an A-fib episode in months, probably because of the Pacemaker.

My ankle and knee are healing and I'm able to walk up and down the stairs normally now -- or almost normally anyway.

Mia

Mia and I have spent half of yesterday and most of today at the veterinarian.  She apears to have trouble breathing and she keeps coughing and gagging and she looks at me which such trust like I'm supposed to make it better.  Poor thing.  So yesterday they thought she had an upper respiratory infection so they gave me an antibiotic and a cough pill to give her.

But today she was worse, so I took her back twice today.  The took x-ays of her  trachea which shod a narrowing of he trachea.  They said there could be a blockage or it could be inflamed but it just didn't show up on the x-rays.

So they gave me steroids for her and they said if the steroids don't show improvement in the next two days she may need to see a doctor who will put a scope down her trachea to see if there is a blockage and, if so, remove it.  The vet thinks that perhaps Mia caught something during her adventures at Camp BowWow which is certainly possble.  And there's no real way around that.  It's like taking kids to preshool.  And since I will be boarding her there while I'm gone for Christmas we'll have to take our chancs.  As the vet said,at least Mia will have antibiotic in her system when she goes in.

So now we are home and she is still struggling to breathe.  I'll be staying close to her tonight.  These past two days have been very expensive days.

I had slight tremors in my left hand today but they were very slight.  The pacemaker feels like it is overworking but I hesitate to have it adjusted because the last time they adjusted it, I was miserable.

I realized today that I haven't received any forwarded mail ever since I put the change of address in about six weeks ago.  So I called the Westcliffe post office and they told me I had to talk to the Brighton post office. I really don't see how I'll get anywhere but I will pursue it.  I just hope I'm not missing any important mail.  Oh well, at least all of the advertising will stop.

Fun party

Tonight was the firm's Christmas party.  It was held at a jazz club in Denver and the theme was the roaring twenties.  I didn't dress in theme but for those of us who didn't dress up, the club provided a feather boa, beaded necklace and feather headband.  Here's me and my boss.  He was telling everybody that the clothes he was wearing were the clothes he wore back in 1928 when he had dinner with the Great Gatsby (ha):

It was definitely a fun party.

But I had quite a few tremors tonight.  Trying to be patient.

My knee and ankle are mending nicely.  I'll have to be careful driving back to St. Louis so that I stop and walk around often to keep the leg from swelling.

Now it's time to start getting ready for the Christmas trip.  I'm going to take Mia to Doggie Care every few days, even if it's only for several hours, just to keep her used to Camp BowWow and I won't feel so sad leaving her behind.

Stayed in today

Didn't even leave the house today.  Had a few weird tremors but kind of different than the others.  Patience is a virtue, right?  I'm sure nothing happens overnight.

Tomorrow night is our firm's Christmas Party.  I'm not used to all this night life.s

Black Tie Affair

No tremors today up until this evening...

I attended a black tie affair at the Denver Art Museum with my boss, his wife and other friends.  It's kind of nice to get super dressed up every now and then.  The event was honoring one of the Museum's largest supporters and donors so there was a lot of toasting and some great speeches.  Here's my boss giving his accolades:

And here's another great speaker -- the Governor of Colorado, John Hickenlooper:

At dinner, though, I had a few tremors.  Disappointing.  But I was very hungry (hadn't eaten since a little before noon and they didn't serve dinner at the museum until around 8:00) so for now I'm attributing the tremors to hunger....

It was a cool evening.

Back to the doctor

This morning I didn't feel so good and the pacemaker was making me breathless and I had palpitations.  So I went straight to the cardiologist's office and he got the Medtronics guy down there and they changed back everything they did yesterday.  I feel so much better.

I took Mia to Doggie Day Care again for the day.  She loves it.  And I love watching her on the WebCam.  When I brought her home she slept for hours. How great is that?  I think I will be relatively comfortable leaving her in their care over Christmas.

Yesterday was my first lowered dose of Flecainide and again this morning and I didn't have a single tremor today.  I hope tomorrow brings the same results.

Cardiologist Visit

Today was my appointment with the cardiologist.

First I had to see the pacemaker guy from Medtronics. He determined that everything was working as it should and he made a few adjustments to the settings.  I asked him what I should do if these settings caused me problems and he said I wouldn't even notice the changes.  (Well, that proved to be wrong .. by the time I got home I was breathless and having palpitations so if things don't settle down by tomorrow I will be calling the doctor.  I'm not sure if adjustments to the pacemaker need time to "settle.")

Second, I saw the physician's assistant to get the blood pressure done and blood test for INR.

And then third, I saw the cardiologist.  I talked to him about lowering the dose on my Flecainide and he spent a little time checking me for tremors, etc., and then he said he thought maybe it was time to lower the dose anyway since I've been doing so well.  So he lowered the dose from 150mg twice a day to 100mg twice a day.  So we will see.

My ankle is doing much better and so is the knee.

After I got home I spent the rest of the day in bed.  It has gotten really cold and we are expecting snow.

2-story townhouse versus ranch style

When I bought this townhouse something told me I was making a big mistake getting something that involved stairs.  But I thought, hey, good exercise.

Well, this morning I was reminded of my misgivings.  I fell down the stairs.  I think the cats distracted me as they ran by me heading to their food bowls for breakfast.  Anyway, a trip to the emergency room showed that my knee was bent a little strongly and will be swollen for a while and my ankle is sprained and is very swollen.  I was sent home to put ice on my booboo's.

My main concern was the possibility of internal bleeding because of the blood thinner I'm on, but the ER doctor checked me out head to toe and says she does not detect any internal bleeding.  I need to keep an eye on it over the weekend.

I told the doctor that the first thought that came to my mind as I was sitting on the stairs was, "well, nothing appears to be broken so I must not have osteoporosis."  She laughed and agreed with me.

My tremors have died down quite a bit but they are still there.  And this morning's fall made me think of Parkinson's because one of the symptoms is dragging one's feet.  But I'm not going there yet.  I am encouraged by the fact that it appears that giving up caffeine has lessened the tremors dramatically.  I hope that on Monday the cardiologist will let me cut back on one of the medications I take to see if it can be having a hand in the tremors.  I would love to find out that I have been misdiagnosed.

Camp BowWow

Mia passed her interview at Camp BowWow and was accepted.  After the initial 15-minute interview (introducing her to other dogs one at a time), she had to stay there all day so they could watch her interacting with the other dogs.  And I was able to come home and watch her on the WebCam.  I was very pleased with what I saw.

When I picked her up at 4:00, she acted like she almost didn't want to leave, although she was glad to see me.  So I'm going to take her back there tomorrow for the day and again once a week until I leave so she can be really indoctrinated.  The kennel where she will spend the nights (which they call a "cabin") is pretty large and I can bring her bed and blankets and toys.  Very nice.  But being able to watch on the WebCam is very special.

When she got in the car she went to sleep immediately and when I got her home she jumped on the couch and went back to sleep.  It's nice to know that her energy level can be depleted!

For some reason one of those infernal rabbits has decided to relax on my patio and when I took Mia out a little bit ago she (Mia) almost took my arm off.  Pain.  I can't believe I lived here for 7 months and never saw a rabbit and now that I have Mia there are rabbits everywhere.

Mia's graduation day

First, I had a doctor appointment yesterday but he called and canceled it so now it's next Monday.  GRRRR.

Today was Mia's last training class in the Beginner Section and she graduated!  Here is her picture with her graduation cap!  We will start intermediate training in January.  And if I can find an agility class, I think she would love that.  She has an energy level that is off the charts.

 Tomorrow Mia has an "interview" at Camp BowWow and if she is accepted, I am going to probably board her for the Christmas holiday.  I've never boarded a dog before and it will break my heart to do it but I think it's for the best.  She will feel abandoned but hopefully they will keep her so busy that she won't have too much separation anxiety.

Happy Thanksgiving!

It's been a nice quiet holiday.  I got all my Christmas gifts wrapped and listened to Christmas music.    I tried to get the holiday music going on Pandora but evidently I am not smart enough to figure out how to use Pandora!  So I resorted to CDs.

There is a small retention pond near my house and for the past few days it has been covered with geese.  You couldn't even see the water for the geese.  Today Mia and I took a walk and while we were out the sky was literally covered with hundreds and hundreds of geese making a LOT of noise.  It was fascinating.  They seemed to be flying in circles for quite a long time and I just stood there watching.

When they finally disappeared, I came in and did a Google search and learned that when it comes time for the geese to fly off to wherever they fly off to they gather by the hundreds -- and maybe thousands -- to create their formations, flying around in circles over and over.  And then when they are all ready, they go.  So I learned something today.  I can't believe I've never seen that before.

I still have tremors but they are very mild and only last for seconds.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

Christmas shopping

I got all of my Christmas shopping done and I think I will spend Thanksgiving playing Christmas music and wrapping gifts.

My cousin Tom died last week.  He battled non-Hodgkins lymphoma for 8 years.  When he was first diagnosed he was given 5 years so going for 8 years was pretty good.  He was only 66.

I've been doing tons of research on Parkinson's -- spent a lot of time on the Michael J. Fox website.  Just preparing myself.  Did you know that he was diagnosed 25 years ago?  Isn't that amazing?  It feels like it was not that long ago.  And he still walks and talks and lives life so that is heartening.  He says that he has occasional problems (like side effects from medication or difficulties sleeping, etc.) but he deals with it.

I had a few tremors this morning and then throughout the day there were no outward tremors but I felt some weird inner vibrations.  As soon as my bloodwork gets back to normal after starting back up on the Warfarin I will talk to the cardiologist about trying to cut back on one of my heart medications to see if it has anything to do with tremors.  Trying to cover all possibilities hoping to find another cause of the tremors.  But that presents new concerns -- if we discontinue a heart medication, what will take its place and what side effects will it bring?

I just had a thought:  if we were to learn that Flecainide was causing the tremors, perhaps I could keep taking the Flecainide and just deal with the tremors.  I think I could handle that if I knew it wasn't Parkinson's.

Snow

Today was our first snow of the winter.  Only about an inch but it pretty much snowed all afternoon and the temperature got down to the mid-20s.  It was COLD.  I couldn't get Mia to go out in the snow so I will probably have a few surprises in the house.

I took Mia to PetSmart's Doggie Day Care today for a 4-hour play date.  When we walked into PetSmart there were a few dogs and she went nuts like she always does.  And when I was signing the paperwork to register her, she was barking and pulling like she always does.  The lady at the desk came and got Mia to take her into the play area and I stood near the glass window so I could watch.  They let Mia into the room -- off leash -- with about 10 other dogs and she didn't react at all.  They all came over to say hi to her and then they all went back to sniffing and napping, etc.  So clearly being on the leash causes her anxiety for some reason.

When I picked her up at 1:00, they told me that she was laid back the whole time and she didn't play much, just kind of stayed to herself.  I walked over to the glass and when she saw me she literally did cartwheels trying to get to me.  We put the leash back on her and as I walked through PetSmart to the front door to leave, three dogs came in and Mia became a tornado again.  I guess I just need to keep bringing her around other dogs while she is on leash and see if she can get used to it.

Today was also a day with almost no tremors.  The only time I had any tremors was when pouring a glass of milk.  My hand shook just a little.

Today was a banner day

First of all, this morning a moving truck pulled up at the townhouse next to mine.  It's been empty for a few months and now has a new owner, a man about my age who travels a lot to Russia and India for his job.  We talked for a long time and it looks like I am finally going to make a friend here.

Then this evening I went to my grief support group and there were 5 other people there, three of them women.  There was a lot of laughing and crying and telling stories -- very cathartic.  During the meeting we agreed to form a "social group" where we would get together for breakfasts, or brunches, or movies, etc.  We exchanged email addresses.  So that's three new friends.  And if either of the men join us, that's five new friends.  A really good day.

And I think Mia is finally starting to understand -- for the most part -- that she needs to pee and poop outdoors!  But we are still working on leash training and what they call "reactive" behavior, to try to get her to be more calm when she sees a rabbit or another dog.  Tomorrow is another one of her private training sessions.  Hopefully we can get her to a point where she can be in a group class again.  I really think that going into PetSmart makes her think she is going to be left at a shelter again.  She needs to feel safe.  We're getting there.

Back on Warfarin

I had my dental appointment on Wednesday and it went a lot better than the last time.  Two teeth pulled and a bone graft (yuk), but it went really well.  She said I might bruise, but I didn't.  I have two more upcoming dental appointments.

The tremors never really totally let up but they sure diminished.  I've been exercising the left arm, too, to see if that helps.  Tonight I go back on the Warfarin.  Then on Nov 28 I see the cardiologist again and will get the pacemaker "interrogated."  I will talk to the cardiologist to see if we can cut back on one of my heart medications to see if that has anything to do with the tremors.  It's a little scary to cut back on a heart medication so I'll go along with whatever the doctor says.

This is all kind of scary because if I do actually have Parkinson's, it is my understanding that the sooner I get on Parkinson's medications the better. So I need to stay on top of this. Ugh.

I have taken Mia to her private class and she is improving, but it's slow going.  I adore her but I'm not very good at training.

I guess that's it for now.

Tremors

I had to stop my Warfarin/Coumadin (blood thinner) on Sunday in preparation for more dental work on Wednesday.  And today I woke up without any tremors.  During the day today there were a few very mild tremors but for the most part there weren't any.  I will be off the Warfarin for a week so we'll see if they stay gone the whole week.

I would be so tickled to find out that the tremors are caused by a medication and not Parkinson's, but not sure how that could be resolved since I need the blood thinner and I do not want to use any of the new ones that are out there now (Eliquis, Xeralto, Pradaxa, etc.).  We'll take it one day at a time.

You know, the doctors don't ever want to listen to questions about possibilities other than what they want to diagnose.  When I saw the neurologist, she put me through a series of physical movements that convinced her I had Parkinson's.  Most of them had to do with the fact that my left arm wasn't as strong as my right arm.  She said that was a definite sign.  However, she didn't want to take into consideration the fact that I have had several pacemaker surgeries in the past six months and each of those operations required that my left arm stay immobile for several weeks of recuperation.  So to my way of thinking it is only natural that my left arm would lose strength.

Another movement that I failed was putting my feet flat on the floor and lifting my big toe without lifting the other toes.  I had difficulty doing that with both toes, but mostly the left one (although I could do it when I got home).  Another test I failed was doing the "straight line" walk that police officers use to check sobriety (when I got home I could do it flawlessly, but I think I was nervous trying to walk down a doctor's hallway with people watching).  Also, I don't have a good sense of smell and she said that was a sign of Parkinson's.  I tried to tell her that I have had a poor sense of smell for 60 years but she just moved on.  So I look forward to the second opinion in January.

Took Mia to her PetSmart training class tonight and the trainer and I decided that Mia needs private classes, so we go back tomorrow for some one-on-one training.  I'm beginning to think that perhaps she spent a lot of time in a crate before she got to me.

Yesterday I spent most of the day in the garage getting it organized so that I can actually get the car in there.  I figure winter is coming and having the car in the garage would be a big plus.  :)

Eye doctor

I saw my ophthalmologist today because my vision was getting a little blurry.  I took with me the medications I've been taking for my heart and showed him that right on the bottles isi printed the warning, "May cause blurry vision."  He shook his head and said, "I doubt that seriously."  I accused him and my other doctors being in cahoots with the drug companies and he just laughed.  Doctors are necessary but sometimes I just don't understand them.

So he said my eyes have changed a little bit, probably because of the cataract in the right eye.  And he said that in a person with astigmatism, like me, even small changes are more noticeable.

The veterinarian called me today to say that Mia's tests all came out good, so it's good to know she's okay.

Now back to the World Series.  Last night's game was incredible.  Can't wait to see how tonight goes.

Halloween

Last night I was so prepared.  Decorated my patio, had scary music playing, and $50 worth of candy.  And I didn't get a single trick-or-treater.  How disappointing.  Now I have tons of candy to get rid of.  I guess this neighborhood doesn't have that many kids.

In the past few days I have been endlessly researching one of the heart medications I am taking -- Flecainide -- to see if it can causes tremors just like I am experiencing.  I found MANY message boards with many people who said they suffered from tremors while taking Flecainide.  So I will be talking to the cardiologist about this.  It would be wonderful to not have Parkinson's.  But I wonder what would take the place of Flecainide if I discontinued it.  Or if I could just reduce the dose of Flecainide.

I feel like the pacemaker may need adjusting, too.  Whenever I exert myself, my heart seems to be over-working.

I have another upcoming dental appointment and I will be discontinuing the Coumadin (blood thinner) on November 6 in preparation for the appointment on November 9.  I will pay close attention to how I feel after discontinuing the Coumadin to see if it could be causing any side effects.

I'm watching the World Series game and it is exciting.  Cubs are winning and even had a grand slam home run!!

Lab work came out good

The doctor's office called this morning to tell me all the lab work came out in normal range.  So she feels pretty confident that my problems were caused by the magnesium.  So no more magnesium.

I felt much better today and it feels so good to feel good after feeling lousy!  So Mia and I took a few long walks.

Now I'm watching the Cubs in the World Series -- wouldn't that be really cool to have the Cubs win the Series after all those years!  Pete Rose is one of the announcers and he really needs to do something about that comb-over.

Emergency Doctor Visit

Today I went to the emergency section of my primary care doctor's office because I still didn't feel good.  The doctor was great.  She asked me a million questions and did bloodwork and one of the questions she asked was did I take anything different recently.  And I remembered that I took a magnesium supplement Saturday and Sunday (I thought it would be good for the heart).  She said "Aha!  I'll bet that's what it is -- magnesium can cause everything that was going on with you."  So she said I should stop the magnesium at least until the lab work comes back.  She should be calling me tomorrow with the results.

Then tonight I took Mia to her training class (trying to get her socialized with other dogs).  What an hour that is!  All four dogs need to be socialized and it is a real circus.  I think we are making progress, but we'll see.  The one good thing about these weekly classes is that Mia gets so tired out that she falls asleep as soon as we get in the car and then when we get home she is out like a light. And believe me, it is very hard to tire her out.

Today may be interesting

Yesterday I felt yukky all day long.  I was able to get around and do the things that needed to be done -- even went out to Starbucks, but by the time I went to bed I was feeling awful.  My equilibrium was off and I was so hot I felt like I was in a furnace (yet my temperature, blood pressure and pulse were all normal).  If I stepped outside on the cold patio I quickly felt better.

I transmitted my pacemaker activity to the doctor's office and they tell me the readings are normal.

This morning I felt pretty good when I got up but that hot feeling with dizziness came back.  I have turned off the furnace and opened all the windows.

I just can't believe that Parkinson's is all of a sudden kicking into gear, going overnight from slight tremors to hot flashes and equilibrium issues. That wouldn't make any sense.  But I can't imagine what else it could be.

So I put my pet sitter on alert and I may head to the emergency room today.

I'm starting this blog off with a bang!